My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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