Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks

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(479): View more from Arkansas

How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.

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(407): View more from Florida

I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.

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(718): View more from New York

Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.

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(618): View more from Illinois

There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead

(1-618): View more from Illinois

TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent

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