And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
