Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
