forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?