I am puke
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
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Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..