the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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