Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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