and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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