I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
