what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
