how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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