remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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