2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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