We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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