Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
