so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
