i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
