By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
