My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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