That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
