fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
