drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
