I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
