so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
