Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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