he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize