Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
COCAINE IS GR8
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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