Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
