I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize