Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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