I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize