I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
