Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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