some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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