he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
