just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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