GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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