OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
