Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this