how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.