I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell