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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

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• (209): View more from California

  She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.

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• (805): View more from California

  I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed

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• (206): View more from Washington

  she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (707): View more from California

  I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..

  (707): View more from California

  WOAH TOO HIGH

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.

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• (707): View more from California

  fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night

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• (818): View more from California

  She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.

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