I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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