Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.

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  (919): Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south. http://tfl.nu/bzzh
  Replies (10) Good night (2972) Bad night (748)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Fuck appropriateness.

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  (301): Fuck appropriateness. http://tfl.nu/83xq
  Replies (17) Good night (6026) Bad night (698)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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  (239): When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up. http://tfl.nu/gf96
  Replies (19) Good night (6092) Bad night (843)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.

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  (931): Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex. http://tfl.nu/p49h
  Replies (46) Good night (14346) Bad night (2074)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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  (360): Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day http://tfl.nu/ig75
  Replies (16) Good night (4144) Bad night (826)
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  (559): View more from California

  I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.

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  (559): I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing. http://tfl.nu/i8zl
  Replies (6) Good night (5403) Bad night (1593)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly

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  (678): I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly http://tfl.nu/mkzb
  Replies (6) Good night (3115) Bad night (1019)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

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  (845): You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this. http://tfl.nu/x8z4
  Replies (15) Good night (3091) Bad night (577)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...

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  (303): You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted... http://tfl.nu/r2o3
  Replies (1) Good night (1466) Bad night (608)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept

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  (502): How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept http://tfl.nu/59ls
  Replies (13) Good night (498) Bad night (1617)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame

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  (303): Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/4ytk
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (331)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.

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  (305): I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon. http://tfl.nu/f8kn
  Replies (1) Good night (909) Bad night (326)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.

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  (610): Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow. http://tfl.nu/yt6q
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (230)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever

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  (416): Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever http://tfl.nu/xryc
  Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (250)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.

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  (843): But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public. (1-843): My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly. http://tfl.nu/3lc6
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (204)

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