Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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