the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
