Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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