from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
