I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize