You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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