obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
