he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
