i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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