You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
