I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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