If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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