jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize