Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
