oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
