She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
