so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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