Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
