pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How external is "for external use only"?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
